Sunday, February 11, 2007
This prove that love had been ard for so long... touching picture!!
LoNeLy^AleX
Alexelion MisSeD yOu @ 11:51 PM
Okie... i know this had taken way way too long to come out but while.. i finally have time to blog!! haha... yes RUI... i blog liao oki? lolz.. dun keep on complain i nver blog la.. really very busy can... although i still got time chat with u in msn but i no time to come sit down and blog la.. haha...
Well well... the last time i blog was when.. let mi see... NOV 14!!! wah.. really very long liao.. no wonder rui complain.. haha.. so what had i been doing for the past 2 month? well.. i had been so so so super busy with work that i dun even have time to be angry at bro who are not making effort to spent time 2geter, dun even have time to chat more to some of my dear fren, dun even have time to go town walk walk, dun even have time to ask some ppl out to go for lunch or dinner and i dun even have time to check out what is the latest happening ard singapore and the world!!
All this things were caused by the MP SEMINAR that finally concluded yesterday.. or rather friday!!! yeah.. finally it was over... the event went by without any major glitch... thankz goodnessss!!! i am in the committee of this MP SEMINAR and was the assistant secretary.. wah damn stress sia.. in charge of so many thing.. i WAS ACTUALLY DOING ALL THE JOB OF A SECRETARY LA!!! only that any major decision were made by the actual secretary.. but all the other job i do for him la... i can even stay back till 7 plus jus to vet a email he need to send out.. funny rite..
At the start when i knew i was being tasked to do this job i was quite blur as to why i was the 1 doing it.. but i tot to myself, this is also a good chance for mi to prove how good i really am.. and that by bring me over to this branch, they have actually found a capable person! and so i was very dilligent in my work and try to do the best for everything.. everything was running quite smoothly till problem coop up among the huge pile of work coming at 500km/h!! ppl start having problem and i have to start settling problem for them.. small error start to surface and i started being scolded.. it doesnt help when the 3 superior on top of u pile work at u at the same time and when u clearly put them in order of importance they will only question u "so my work not as impt is it?" and so stress started piling themselves on mi.. my man started to give mi problem.. my fellow buddy sergeant is not being very helpful... and finally i blown up 1 day.. after yet another scolding, another pressuring of "den my work not as impt as the other 2 ahz?" and yet another problem my man give mi... i threw all my work on my table and i storm out of my office.. i called my bro in dog wing.. ask to meet him for a while.. he was playing table tennis so i went over and look for him.. as i sat down and watch the small table tennis ball boucing from court to court, i was so worked up.. i could jus burst into tear yet i know i must not.. i am a solider.. i am a man.. must not give mi.. and so i controlled myself.. when my bro finish playing he sat beside mi and asked what happened.. this is when i burst out all my pent up anger and told him every single shit that is happening.. i was actually like AWOLING... i told no 1 where i when, i told no superior and i jus storm out of the office.. but after talking to my bro... he calm mi down and told mi not to do anything stupid.. had a long talk with him before finally deciding to get some food den return to office to continue my work.. after 1 hour 30 min....
But well.. when the MP SEMINAR concluded, a sense of pride and achievement overcame me.. all the hard work, all the time spent, all the late nites, all the arguement, all the meetings, all the scare and solution, all the scolding i kana and all the praise and congratuation i got... all this make the work worthwhile.. i believe that should i still remain in dog wing, i will never get this type of sense of achievement and pride.. In the mist of doing all these work, i get to rub shoulder with the top lvl ppl, the LTC (*)(*) , the CPT lll , the LTA ll , the MSG <<<*>>>, the SSG <<*>>> , the 1SG <<>>> , the 2SG <>>> and the 3SG >>> (MYSELF!) and not forgetting the man under us.. Everyone put in effort and in the end was the sweet result of everything running smoothly!! kudos to everyone... when the phototaking session of the committee took place after the event.. i felt so proud to be part of this team.. especially when my big boss came over and shake my hand "well done alex! we finally did it!" i could only reply.. "yes, thank you sir.. WE did it!"....
Even though i was so busy, i try to relac and chill during the weekend so i can sort of destress and recharge myself before going on war again the coming monday... However to my disappointment, i found all my bro is not free at all.. some by choice, some got no choice... i know i got too few fren but what make mi so dishearten is when i truly needed them to be there for mi they are not ard... where were they when i was breaking down and needing somebody to talk to.. where were they when i am so stress and need someone to accompany out to even jus have a meal, or take a walk just to destress... jackson in taiwan.. yifeng decide that he wanna save money so dun wanna go out.. even when i say jus go out talk talk or have a drink he say once he go out he will be tempted to spend and so dun want... believe it a not? kaoz.. kailiang keep on kana duty.. and melvin... busy.. i only know he tell mi he busy but i nver know what he is busy with... and so for 3 weekend i think, i spend it at home.. muhahah!! steady rite... relac and chill at home.. tok to my bed to vent out my stress... wonderful... sometime i think perhaps it is jus 1 sided i treat some of them as my best bro... maybe i am not so impt afterall.. i can be the most understanding toward my bros.. but dun exploit it... dun jus say i will understand.. and use it everytime.. ya everytime i understand, so if i keep on understanding will this be how u going to continue to treat mi? why am i alway the person to call u all out.. ya i understand u ppl character is not to make the 1st move so if i understand are u all going to continue to wait for mi? so now that i have ranted all this out are u all going to say.. "aiya, he dun understand la....?" how oxymoron... haha... i am not saying wat la.. but sometime u will jus get sick and tired of being the only 1 who understand... friendless feeling... every single 1 of u all will nver know/feel how i feel la...
3rd of feb... a birthday of one of my fren... well this fren shall leave the deepest scar in my heart... i can swear to god that no 1 come close to the happiness, hurt, depression, joy this fren had ever given mi.. the deepest scar will forever be in my heart.. i dun know what happen but it seem that out of the blue this fren is not talking to mi anymore.. i send msg and the reply would be vague.. most of the time no reply... come on.. after all the thing we went thru to build such a strong frenship and now u r doing this to mi? it had been 238 days since we last talk.. haha.. And i dun even know if i had done anything wrong... but well... some thing u can forget.. but the scar will still be there.. maybe it is time to move on and dun hope for any more "frenship from this frenship..."
well... i am not totally free now... still got to wait for 2 more day... monday and tuesday i still have to attend a seminar... after that i will truly be free for at least a few week bahz... i wanna play bball!! i wanna run!! i wann exercise and train!! haha.. well.. chinese new yr coming but oh ya.. before that comes, there is still the day which i am lonely for the past 21 yrs.. valentine day... lolz.. how i wish that there would be someone to spend it with mi... if i were ever outside and saw those couple i would sure wish that there would be someone who jus like mi for who i am and accept mi for what i am... now i am not being desperate... jus that i long for the feeling of being liked/loved by someone... guess this yr gonna be a super lonely valentine day for me once more...
oh ya.. a few bad news for mi.. 1stly.. i kana duty on 1 day of chinese new yr... 730am to 730pm... i quite sick and tired of seeing ppl pushing to each other to do duty on this day and so i jus say i will do it.. so cant complain much also... 2ndly.. well i received the news that 2 of my best best best best bro will not be in singapore during my bday this yr... jus great... really great.. maybe i can try a lonely bday... a new day to be lonely.. hahahah.....
pardon mi for this freaking long post.. RUI sure complain but well.. very long nver blog so much post more ma... maybe later i suddenly busy again lehz.. den must wait long long to blog den u complain again.... oh ya rui... that day where we went to balcony... i guess not only a chance for mi to help u de stress... but also for mi myself... and ya.. u were the 1st 1 i told abt the stress and problem i faced... really thankz u for being here.. and thankz for making mi laugh... hehe... remember our pact... emotional outlet! rem? guess u forget.. tootpid STML! hahaha no wonder still 8.5.... bleah! =p
-----我站在你不遠處, 默默的為你祝福-----
Alexelion MisSeD yOu @ 2:30 AM
